- buying yourself a pair of Dr Martens will bring memories of youth flooding back, and at the same time remind you just how long ago that was.
- showing your children how you ‘used to dance’ when you were the aforementioned youth, is guaranteed to end in disappointment for all concerned.
- picking shoes rather than boots, only because you can’t be bothered to waste all that time lacing them up/undoing them, proves the first point even more.
- hoping that friends and family won’t think that by choosing to wear them with the yellow laces in, you’re trying to stay “hip and young”.
- wondering what on earth “hip and young” looks like these days is a pointless task, unless of course that’s what the “hip and young” do all day…..
- not buying a pair for your wife could be construed as a big mistake.
- drawing attention to your new shoes every five minutes, combined with not buying a pair for your wife, might result in divorce or castration.