No, I’m not that old……*cough*….

Looking through Facebook this evening, I noticed this t-shirt for those Star Wars fans desperate to prove that they were cool, before it was cool. 

Now, I can also say that I went to the cinema to watch the first film when it came out, and Grease for that matter ( and ‘One of our dinosaurs is missing’ if we’re going for the ultimate one upmanship), but to be honest it just reminds me that, if I can remember that far back, how I must be getting closer to 50. *Gulp* 😧

“Here’s a picture of you Daddy….”

Jessica told me to close my eyes, “you can’t look at my drawing yet dad, it’s a surprise”. I did as instructed, nearly taking my hip out on an errant chair pulled out from the dining table, and shuffled awkwardly from the dining room. A few minutes later Jessica proudly walked into the kitchen and announced “you can open your eyes now!”, having done so already so as not to have burnt the house down whilst cooking dinner, I turned round and dramatically opened my eyes. “Here’s a picture of you daddy!” She proudly exclaimed. I prepared myself to fuss and praise the masterpiece before me….

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“Oh.” I stammered, “that’s……lovely sweetheart. Thank you” she smiled up at me and crushed any lingering doubt I may have that this was a ‘caricature’ of me, “this is the way I see you daddy”, and then “because sometimes, you can be a little grumpy”.

Gee. Thanks Jessica.

Things I’ve learnt this week.

  • buying yourself a pair of Dr Martens will bring memories of youth flooding back, and at the same time remind you just how long ago that was.
  • showing your children how you ‘used to dance’ when you were the aforementioned youth, is guaranteed to end in disappointment for all concerned.
  • picking shoes rather than boots, only because you can’t be bothered to waste all that time lacing them up/undoing them, proves the first point even more.

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    OK shoe do your stuff
  • hoping that friends and family won’t think that by choosing to wear them with the yellow laces in, you’re trying to stay “hip and young”.
  • wondering what on earth “hip and young” looks like these days is a pointless task, unless of course that’s what the “hip and young” do all day…..
  • not buying a pair for your wife could be construed as a big mistake.
  • drawing attention to your new shoes every five minutes, combined with not buying a pair for your wife, might result in divorce or castration.

Knock, knock.

Sir Michael Wilshaw, Ofsted’s chief inspector (stop booing at the back!) has told a committee of MP’s, that the government should be rewarding “good citizens” who knock on their neighbours’ doors and ask them why their children aren’t at school. Actually I believe he said they should demand to know, but you get the idea.

I assume then, that he also suggested the government set up a fund to pay for the hospital costs, missed work days and funeral arrangements, for those “good citizens” who are beaten senseless or fatally injured, whilst carrying out this community service?

No?

Thought not…..

Ten Things I Learnt This Week

1. Black fluff from socks all over the (light coloured) carpets will annoy you for days and days.

2. Children with runny noses will invariably wipe them on their sleeves.

3. Radiator pipes being in strange places in the wall, will always attract my drill.

4. Drivers not putting headlights on in the fog.

5. Drizzle. At school run time. As usual.

6. Cold callers who hang up, repeatedly.

7. Short term memory loss. This always strikes me when I need to….um…..remember to….um…err…oh crap.

8. Blinkered football supporters. When a ref gives a ‘dodgy’ decision against their team, he’s the worst ref ever. But when the same decision goes their way, they conveniently overlook it.

9. Indignant moral outrage. Or, if I don’t agree/like/approve of something, I will bemoan society today.

10. Politicians who don’t answer the question put to them …..ever. Ah, some things never change.

All in all, it’s been one of those weeks…..