Who goes there?

Driving along in the pouring rain, the spray is making visibility difficult and it’s as dark as the middle of the night.

Are you the twat coming toward me with no lights on? Or the one coming up in my side mirrors that I see at the last moment, because you can’t seem to find the switch for your headlights?

What’s that you say? You can see perfectly well? But your supposed to be able to see and be seen. That’s the bleeding point. I can’t see you.

Turn your bloody lights on.

Thank you.

Rant over…..


Turn to the right?

Whether you feel UKIP are a bunch of homophobic, far right racists or a serious alternative to the staid, boring political parties we have now, truly anti establishment.*

One thing still bugs me.

They’ve still yet to have an MP of their own.

“But Darrell” you’ll say, “they have two MP’s now, you fool!”.

But they don’t, not really. Granted, they are represented at Westminster by two men who wear the colours, but one can’t help thinking that that is a case of self preservation. Both men would have lost their seats as sitting conservative MP’s, so defected to UKIP as they now thought that their ‘argument’ was stronger.

How convenient.

Had the Tory vote held up, one wonders if their conviction would have been as strong?

When they contest elections with their own untried, and some would say untainted, candidates, then I may take them a little more seriously. One thing that cannot be ignored however, is that a lot of voters would like their preferred party to start acting like they believe in their own values and beliefs, instead of chasing votes and populist agendas.

UKIP have a very narrow message, but they believe in it, and are finding that more people agree as they gather momentum. Labour and the conservatives would do well to heed that.

*anti establishment? You’ve met their leader and two MP’s haven’t you….

It says what?

Personalised number plates.

Do you own one?

Does it make sense?

I only ask, as lately I seem to see so many that I can’t make head nor tail of.

Is that meant to say Debbie? No, I’m not sure it does. That one says Hard Bastard? OK, I’ll take your word for it mate.

Though one I could read and understand, though couldn’t quite see the point of, was this one;




Is that aimed at everyone, or someone in particular? And, more importantly, do they know?

Or care……..

“Here’s a picture of you Daddy….”

Jessica told me to close my eyes, “you can’t look at my drawing yet dad, it’s a surprise”. I did as instructed, nearly taking my hip out on an errant chair pulled out from the dining table, and shuffled awkwardly from the dining room. A few minutes later Jessica proudly walked into the kitchen and announced “you can open your eyes now!”, having done so already so as not to have burnt the house down whilst cooking dinner, I turned round and dramatically opened my eyes. “Here’s a picture of you daddy!” She proudly exclaimed. I prepared myself to fuss and praise the masterpiece before me….


“Oh.” I stammered, “that’s……lovely sweetheart. Thank you” she smiled up at me and crushed any lingering doubt I may have that this was a ‘caricature’ of me, “this is the way I see you daddy”, and then “because sometimes, you can be a little grumpy”.

Gee. Thanks Jessica.

Things I’ve learnt this week.

  • buying yourself a pair of Dr Martens will bring memories of youth flooding back, and at the same time remind you just how long ago that was.
  • showing your children how you ‘used to dance’ when you were the aforementioned youth, is guaranteed to end in disappointment for all concerned.
  • picking shoes rather than boots, only because you can’t be bothered to waste all that time lacing them up/undoing them, proves the first point even more.

    OK shoe do your stuff
  • hoping that friends and family won’t think that by choosing to wear them with the yellow laces in, you’re trying to stay “hip and young”.
  • wondering what on earth “hip and young” looks like these days is a pointless task, unless of course that’s what the “hip and young” do all day…..
  • not buying a pair for your wife could be construed as a big mistake.
  • drawing attention to your new shoes every five minutes, combined with not buying a pair for your wife, might result in divorce or castration.

Checkout line.

Are you a stacker? A piller? A neat and ordered arranger?

Putting  shopping on to the checkout in a supermarket can be an exact science, if you’re so inclined, for others, as long as it’s on, it’s fine. 

After placing my meagre haul 20140218-113152.jpgon the checkout last week,

neatly as you can see, the couple behind me proceeded to throw theirs on. 20140218-113231.jpg

Starting in the middle and adding bits here and there, as the fancy took them. I’m sure that the cashiers don’t pay to much attention to the state of the conveyor belt, but must get fed up when a stack of badly stacked produce falls on them. I didn’t hang around to watch them pack that little lot away, but I’m sure the results were just as ordered and efficient as their stacking.

Afternoon walk

We set out for a walk yesterday afternoon for some fresh air and to try to work off some of the children’s energy. Five miles and a welly full of water for Matthew later, as the evening grew ever darker, spirits were becoming decidedly low. However, the promise of chips from the chippy and a warm bubble bath helped to ensure that, the next time a walk is suggested, the children should remain keen.



Knock, knock.

Sir Michael Wilshaw, Ofsted’s chief inspector (stop booing at the back!) has told a committee of MP’s, that the government should be rewarding “good citizens” who knock on their neighbours’ doors and ask them why their children aren’t at school. Actually I believe he said they should demand to know, but you get the idea.

I assume then, that he also suggested the government set up a fund to pay for the hospital costs, missed work days and funeral arrangements, for those “good citizens” who are beaten senseless or fatally injured, whilst carrying out this community service?


Thought not…..